In the past year, funds have been quite nervous. Things may be worse. We are in a lucky position. We don’t need to worry about whether we can pay the bills, or where will our next meals come from, but the week before the paid is always under pressure. We have to cut a lot, which means that there are very few dating nights, and there are fewer nights to go out with friends.
One of the struggles is to find a good reason to say something that can’t afford me. I am a typical flattering person, so I urgently need to agree with any suggestions made by my friends.
I shared my current money with a few close friends, but did not talk widely about them. After all, in the UK, money is usually not discussed. If you talk about money, people will often feel uncomfortable. Many people don’t even like discussing potential positive financial topics, such as wages and bonuses. This is a kind of shame, because if we do not understand what is happening in the employment market, we may not be able to prepare enough when negotiating salary review or new position salary plan.
Talk about money
I think it’s time to let people talk more openly. No matter what you have in your salary, or you don’t have it during the difficult period. If we are more open and honest about friends and family members, maybe we can avoid some stress, when you have different ideas for what is cheap day.
Even a cheap and pleasant activity, if it is not planned, the cost will increase rapidly. In these cases, the smallest things may become a source of stress. Walking with friends may end in a bar and buy a few rounds of drinks -would you leave? Try to avoid inspection and care of lime and soda? Or grit your teeth and accept the plan that you can afford, but it becomes quite expensive …
Together with friends who understand and understand my financial situation, it is easier to choose activities suitable for everyone. It is not a bar at the end of the walking, but the food market, picnic, and even return to someone to drink a glass of tea or a cup of shameless wine. After all, even if your friends are more economical, it is not wrong to have a cheap day!
We all have the responsibility to control our financial situation. This may be a short -term plan for your life, perhaps the monthly budget. Or, if things are more difficult for a long time, this may mean a picture of changing future life. Perhaps the goal is not to buy a house, but to find a cheap place to rent a house while letting things go back to the right track.
Sometimes, controlling your own financial situation means missing something, so that “you in the future” can have money to buy new cars, deposit deposits or investment retirement plans. If you can share the situation with the person you love, you will be in a more favorable position to achieve your goals.
The problem of sharing is the problem of halving
Studies have shown that this ancient proverb may be true. Now I understand that everyone’s situation is different, as well as what they may be willing to share. I also had such a conversation several times, and I could honestly say that I found people happy to help.
For all of us, help may look different. For me, I have a friend invited me to have a drink instead of going to the bar -after all, the wine in supermarkets is usually worthwhile and the quality is better! My friends have a re -shaping (wedding) plan, making it easier for me to participate. I even have friends who choose not to recommend that they know the activities beyond my budget. All these (and more) help to relieve stress. However, if they don’t know what happened, they can do nothing.
If the problem is just that you calculate the expenditure for a month, then you may only need to tell one or two friends. This may be as simple as telling friends that you should see that you have a Tenner until the salary day, so -unless they want to pop up beans on the toast -you will not be available in the next one or two weeks. If funds are tight, it does not necessarily mean cancellation of all plans, but it is time to realize your ability to understand your burden.
If this is a long -term problem, then you need to sit down to make a budget. Everything that does not meet the budget must be removed. This may mean some small changes, or it may mean, just like my situation, realizing that you can no longer afford some of the previous indulgence (goodbye monthly beauty subscription! This may also mean that you need Some activities planned by friends.
If you spend more than your affordability when you go out to eat, drink or go to the cinema, then write each of these costs into your budget and calculate what you can afford. For me, this means that I can only go out to eat once or twice a month. Even those meals, I must be careful about what I spent. For this reason, I like coupons or packages -this means that the cost is determined in advance, and the risk of being proud of being ordered is less.
If you want to order somewhere, this may mean strange and difficult dialogue. In some cases, you may have dinner with your friends. No matter what you eat, he has always hoped to share the bill. If it is beautiful, it doesn’t matter, but when you drink a glass of white wine and a bowl of sad pasta, and they drink a few cups of cocktails and Fili steak, they may be more frustrating. Don’t wait until the bill comes. When your friend recommends splitting it, don’t look angry. If this is what you have done in the past, they have no reason to look forward to anything different.
In many cases, the other party does not know your situation. Gently explain that you have a budget at present, so you would rather pay only for everyone. If you are worried, please tell them in advance. If these things are not surprised at the end of the meal, they are often easier to discuss -either leave a message in advance, or when you reach the restaurant, and then mention it.
By opening up, we let our friends and family enter our lives instead of closing the door. Although sometimes sharing money is a bit embarrassing or uncomfortable, it will eventually lead to a better and more open relationship. After all, if you don’t want to join them to spend an expensive night, if they understand why, they are unlikely to be angry. If we are open -minded to our friends, they will support it most of the time and will not offend. If not, maybe it’s time to re -evaluate how good their friends are.